My Digital Soul
by MissDomaYuset
Summary: My name is Dib Membrane, and I can't tell if I had murdered my foe or simply shut down a failed program. character death one shot


**I really want to do a Kamikaze. But it's too hard.**

**Nothing will be able to measure up the one in Independence Day movie.**

**So I'll just do what I do best.**

**Whatever that is.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of the original!**

_**Death: (noun) **__The act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all vital functions of an organism._

_**A-live: (adjective)**__ Having life or vigor or spirit. (2) Having life, living; existing; not dead or lifeless._

But was Zim alive?

My hands moved on their own, as if my mind had switched on autopilot, leaving me to my thoughts. I watched myself unable to believe what was happening. It no longer matter how it came to this, just the fact that did.

The mighty Zim was defeated. A cursed alien was captured. There was a _thing_ on the autopsy table. I had won. But now I am edging closer and closer to the edge of my thinning sanity. My god, I am fourteen! I shouldn't be thinking these things. I need to stop, and enjoy this.

Irkens, they only have three organs. Isn't that amazing? Humans need so many, but Irkens only have three. The thick slime inside the body, it must be blood. Except Irkens have no more use for it then a teddy bear has for stuffing.

There is so much to learn, and each time I probed deeper, I discover something new. My father, he looks at me from the observation deck. He never looked at me like that. He seems almost proud. My sister, who is next to him doesn't seem to care less. That's all right; I would be disturbed if she had acted any different.

My thoughts began to disturb me when I discovered something very odd about my ex-enemy's body. He has no… There isn't… (Sighs)

Irkens can't reproduce. They don't have the right tools.

The entire room was filled with whispers and theories. But there was no way to explain it.

There was nothing that could be used to lay eggs like a bird or to give birth like a human.

At the same moment of confusion and wonder, I swear, we all looked at the hanging PAK at the other side of the room. Irkens… They were nothing more then _robots._ I learned this earlier, when I was a child. I took Zims PAK off before. He told me that he couldn't live longer then a mere ten minutes without it. What more, the Pak _was_ Zim.

I just figured it was because Irkens needed it to make up for poor organs or something stupid like that. To be honest, I didn't think much of it at all. I was just happy to get out of the situation alive!

"**Pass the surgical saw**"

Was that my voice? It sounded dead.

So, Irkens can't reproduce. In fact, their entire personality was in these egg-shaped machines. What does that make them? How did this happen? What did this mean for Zim?

His body, his eyes, none of it was his. In fact, how was I supposed to Zim was even real?

Zim was the Pak. The Pak was all circuits and wires. There was nothing _real._

There was never a real Zim.

He was a program, a failed program.

I was fighting an object.

A thing.

But…

There was something more then that. I spoke with Zim and he had ambitions. Did computers have ambitions? Was it possible he had a soul? He hated me, and at the same time there was a lingering respect for each other. There was a bond.

Then again, it could just as well have been wishful thinking. AI was something you saw on TV. It doesn't exist.

I glanced at the Pak again. What made humans any different? The brain works like a machine, but logic came hand and hand with emotion.

I can cry.

I can laugh.

I can love and hate.

Could Zim do any of that? Gir could…

Do I regret killing Zim? No. I would do it again if I could. It wasn't like I liked him or anything. I won, fair and square. Heh, I wonder what Zim would say if he saw me now.

'_Pitiful human! Take your filthy hands off my organs!'_

Yeah. That sounded about right.

It still didn't make sense.

But I pray for my sake, he wasn't real.

Because if he was, and he had a soul…

Then I killed it.

That would make me a murderer.

But then, if he wasn't real…

Was I just wasting my time?

Did I just threw away my childhood for a failed program?

All that time, when he spoke of his hopes and dreams…

Was that all programming?

He said once, he missed Irk. He didn't say it to me of course. But it's impossible for a machine to miss anything!

"_**Dib! Be careful with that saw!"**_

I stop suddenly. I was cutting though some bone to take some marrow samples. But seemed to have the skin of my thumb. It wasn't anything serious.

I forced a smile for some reason. But I had no reason to impress.

"**I'm sorry. I was distracted."**


End file.
